Free Thy Emotions Ver. 2.0

:: SerSiTiv.blogspot.com is leaving ::

If for any reason there are people reading my blog here then thanks in advance but I have moved to a personal domain. http://www.sersitiv.com do come visit if you have the time.

SerSiTiv out

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 8/10/2005 01:08:00 AM

:: Time to move on ::

I think it's about time to move on from here. I blog so in frequently that it becomes a waste of time for some of my friends who come here and read up about me my life and the things I have done. Today is the day that will mark a change in my life and the way I work, operate, think, feel, desire and appreciate life. I've been in denial for such a long time that I wasted so much resources, precious time and thoughts. But this will all change from today on. Life is going to take a change, I want to make it for myself in my life.

Everyone has a dream and it's to make that dream become a reality and that is exactly what I want to do. No dot com dream, no making lots of money. So enough thinking and crapping shit. This is the end of the road and I do not wish to end it there. I want to build that road and make it go furthur that I can or people can imageine. Life is too short not to build that road for yourself.

I'm still deciding of a blog software to use. I was thinking of Wordpress because of the features that it provides. I probably start in a day or 2 so look out for my domain.

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/26/2005 08:15:00 PM

:: Rainy Wonderland ::

Wee!! It's raining again. Think I'll sleep with the air condition off for this period and enjoy mother nature's gentle breath. The rain irritating, cloudy, gloomy but look at the hot spells we had during this period indeed the rain is doing us some good for us.

My good friend did not pass me tickets for the NDP show. Some tourist manage to get them I'm sooo sad lar. Hai~ Peng you ler... Why no call me? But what is over is over. I forgive you okay since you have been such a nice person to me always so good to me. I steady one! Beh kei kao one. But next time have must tell me hor!!.

Work is a nice place but I feel so out of place here. All the people here all do retail strategy. I am the only programmer in this place writing proposals, marketing guides and stuff. While I am just a computer geek working in a uber place of cool business people. My work place here have all the nice looking business people, make me to tak glam okay.

It's official I'm a coffee addict. I've been downing coffee like no tomorrow just to keep awake and program the program that I'm am working on. Crap right but what to do? Coffee is my friend it's like that little pill of estacy that wakes you up when you need the little boost of NOS for the day. The engine is going to break down soon... it'll be like the Initial D scene where Takumi's AE86 engine blows. *POP*

Looking at moving from blogster to my own blog. Perhaps it will be a ground for greater inspiration and emotional release. I want to blog with more photos of my life and the things I do. Well just lazing back and hoping for the best.

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/25/2005 06:11:00 PM

:: Friend or Soulmate ::

Updates on my life. Okay here goes the list in a nutshell

1. My back, arms, shoulders, legs and Abs hurt because of BodyCombat classes at California Fitness, ROCK ON!


2. TopGear is officially poisoning me slowly


3. I read blogs like Kenny Sia, Minishorts, Rockson, Cheeky everyday. (It'll be nice if they allow me to link to them.)


4. I like conversing with special friends


5. People think I'm a geek


6. Found out the size of a friend

Okay cool think that's all for now, so lets have a closure in the my little MRT saga and move on to more interesting topics like... the recent London bomb blasts. Why do these people do this activities? They are opressed I do agree look at it this way the whole world is freaking progressing the rich are getting richer the poor are getting poorer. When the poor get desperate they do the will of rich people or for their own survival. But who in the world of common sense for moral sakes please when you set off a frggin bomb in central London you are a friggin murderer. But no we are nice people we will not take you actions upon your family and go murder your family but please treat the world nicer the people and all.

Do you sometimes wonder if there is that special someone out there whom you are so comfortable with, no barriers, no buts, no nonsense special someone that you meet in your life and all so be able to relate to well to? Do we then call these special people Friends or Soulmates? I really am confused.

Life is weird I have friends outside of church that I relate to better then those that I am with in church. I can talk to them in a nicer way, I feel superficial when I go to church as if I'm restrainted and moulded in a way that everyone wants me to be the ability to express my creativity and emotions get smacked right out of me. Everyone asks me to Shsss this shesss that like everyone else is damn fucking politically correct, getting downplayed, all I need is a little reconition in the "cool" way not the "geek" way.

There are 2 ways which a person can ask you "How are you?"

1. How is your life are you fine?
2. So what have you been doing with your life and are you plans or are you sure you have one?

See one question 2 meanings, The 1st would most of the time be asked by your friends and the latter would be asked by older folk friends, parents, grandparents yada yada yada.

I do not really have a closing just random thoughts that pop up in my mind and life. So I'll stop here for today. Carpe Diem

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/21/2005 06:43:00 PM

:: Feeling Unwanted ::

Hi, SerSiTiv is feeling unwanted these days. I only have friends but I think I need more then that. I enjoy talking to people and their company. I'm afraid of the dark feeling lonely. I mean bloody hell the person that remembered my B'day is someone that I have not met for 2 years yet she still remembers me and drops me an SMS. No one does anything special for my B'day. Yeah we go out, dinner, cake... expected stuff. I really really dunno man maybe it's just me maybe it's just the attention whore complex that is trying to break free from my emotional self. Ok enough of self pity.

California Fitness as we all know is a exercise jukie's heaven, with a massive array of hamster training equiptment one can not be more facinated by the mass amounts of running pleasure you can get from the threadmills. I call it the "Hamster Farm" you see 100s of people running in sync like a extract from the show Gattaca when all just run for some fitness test.

Feeling tired and exausted, mugging at work so think I'll stop here for now.

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/20/2005 06:32:00 PM

:: Smart, Stupid or plain inconsiderate ::

Hello good morning to all people reading, if there are any to start with. Haha... This morning I got up late, so left for the MRT station then in the cabin I looked at the people, all their faces looked as if their grandfather just died or passed away. All I see were sulks and unhappy faces. So little dear me tried to put on a smile but all ended in disappointment as no one at all smiled. Owned, how come we take life so seriously in Singapore. Look we know how hard we work so why do we not use the waking hours enjoying ourselves, be it to work, lunch or anywhere? Are we just a bunch of plain stupid inconsiderate idiots that take life so seriously that we loose all sanity.

I say asians or in my context Singaporeans are the most unfriendly, bunch of ugly beings that choose to be KIASU (Scard Lose) always GIAN BHNG (Greedy for free stuff, anything free is good). Look at all those aunties as long as there is the four letter word that starts with F, no it's not Fuck, it's FREE. Think the only thing that these aunties were educated in was Sesame Street with the two honkers teaching them the meaning of F----REE, F---REE, F-REE, FREE, FREE, FREE, *honk honk honk honk honk honk..... Then their honkers also start to go off when that word rings in their head rushing them to go and huntum the poor fella who is giving out the free stuff untill he press on the wall trying to breath.

We are weird beings we like to get into a lift, then look out and see someone heading for the lift then without urgency we do not bother to move and press the door open button, we just look at the poor dude rushing for his/her life and laugh inside of us when we hear him jaming the buttons outside. Plain inconsiderate.

So how come we learn to be so smart yet lose all our values and ethical behaviour I ask you I hope that Singapore can be a Sunny island or at least people smile when they head to work. Oh yah there was 1 woman laughing because of a converstaion if you need to talk to someone to start your day find someone to help. Well enough bitching. If more people reading this then I'll put up a disclaimer, dun want to be caught doing something wrong. Cheers and out.

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/19/2005 05:42:00 PM

:: Friends or Known Strangers ::

So we live in this little world that we call earth with a huge population of folks. Some nice, some sweet, some sick, so fit, some fat, some thin. But we are all humans. We live in a world of strangers. Look if you were to walk past a fella along the street is there anyway at all we would just stop in our step and get to know the fella. Perhaps he/she is going to rob a bank and because of your divine intervention some things get prevented. A dollar to a person may be able to save his life. Well ok enough of me crapping, went to kennysia.com and read about the little controversy between his fellow loyal readers/blogger and him taking a picture with little Miss SPG. I'm amazed by the response from the public on how his actions are unbecoming of a famous blogger. But seriously if you take a nude picture of yourself with a girl other then your girlfriend please have the sanity to keep it for yourself to see or savour the artistic values of this image. I can imagine what your girlfriend might be feeling now the embarassment/hurt that those actions have cause as you tell the whole world. Hey I took a nude picture with a fellow blogger and now I'm showing the whole world what I did and am pretty proud of it. This little event even made your friends start to dislike you for what you are. I'm pretty sure your computer is not under house arrest and the scrutiny of your other half. I think the reason also being they know your GF? or not?

Back to the friends or know strangers, so what the heck am I talking about here. Do you ever have that sinking feeling that the people you know are just known stranger? They talk to you, they call you, they ask you out, they say hi. But you are never really ever able to share your true feelings or emotions among them. It's hard to cry, express anguish, fear, your fetishes amongst them. I have many people I think I call strangers, the people who only converse with me when there is need to but not a want to. People who ask me stuff like "Hey do you think this digital camera is good?", "Do you think I should upgrade my computer?" Damn it you think what I am a walking computer directory is it? It feels good to be recogonized but it sure feel better then you belong. Recogonized means that people only know you for your abilities but when you belong it's different altogether, which really really sucks cause probably people think that I'm not cool enough, that I'm a geek, I mr computer and that is totally rubbish. Really man if only I can find true friends, I have still yet to find a best friend or soulmate.

I can only pray perhaps I'm looking too hard, perhaps the person is just right beside me. Well only time can tell. So whatever is it I'm ending this post. Do drop me a message to let me know that I exist.

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/19/2005 12:43:00 AM

:: Dear Mr Durai ::

Dear Sir,

After these 2 days of getting to know you better through our local famous newspaper publication I am astonished at how naive we were to believe that the money that we worked hard for is to allow you to lead a lavish life, some spend hours in MacDonalds earning $3.50/hr listening to unstisfied customers maybe even you just to even play a part in contributing to the NKF. Some miss lunch just to be able to squeeze out the extra 5 dollars from their pockets because some celebrities say so. They say that if we do not spend the extra $20 for a bag we can make someone life better. But from the recent court cases I really do not know if the $20 is to make poor people that need help better or just to finance ONE person in his quest to better living.

I know to the rich money is not an issue, but have you all wondered if you spend the extra $50,000 on a 7 series BMW can this money be made available to the poor why can the rich not settle for a 5 series which in my opinion is already luxurious enough. If U calculate in proportion to an average Singaporean who gives to NKF like for example Mr Koh for example he gives $100 to NKF with an average mthly salary of $2,000 so he is giving 1/20 of their salary to charity if we take Mr Durai's pay and calculate he should be give at least $1,250 and if on a mthly basis about $15,000 to charity. I have never heard of you giving to NKF from your pockets yet.

Sir what I do not understand is this, if Singaporeans can give money during the last 3 years which is around the time Singapore was caught in the ecomomic crisis, companies did not even consider giving bonuses and you sir got 10 to 12 months. Wow what an outcry. I wonder how you really do it. Looking at all the Singaporeans stinge at their lunches, comfortable living just to make some people suffer less and you just sit there waiting for the juicy bonus to come in. For your information your Bonus alone can let an average working Singaporean with family to live for 3 years. So how can you say your organization to be a charity when what we are all the while doing is putting money into the wrong pocket. True that NKF is doing their job but that is just the surface of everything, you see from what I feel you all do all these shows and all these "subsidies" just to hide the greater scam to Singaporeans and make use of legal means to "scam" us. NKF is non profit means they are exempted from some taxes etc etc. means more revenue. I have never expected this from a person of your position.

Also the issue of your staff standing up for you. I wonder what do they gain, you maybe doing a good job and I agree you do a good job at raising funds for the NKF but you are a good boss do your staff get fantastic perks from NKF as well espicially your higher level personnel? Your chairman is he also getting 12 mth bonus?

I feel we as Singaporeans want to help the needy and poor and those in need of dialysis but definatly we do not want to feel cheated espicially to a organization that we once respected for their works. As a person I still urge Singaporeans to contribute to this country's sick but do it smart. Mr Durai sir we still want to see where our money went take it that the $600,000 contributed by us was a mistake we made to be unable to see the truth when we were always being blided by the NKF lucky draw.

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/13/2005 08:12:00 PM

:: D-Less ::

First I want to thank God that I did not do badly for this sememster paper and made it across the finish line with a credit, after running the race and seeing many people overtake me along the way I am glad that at least I made it. I did not manage to get myself a D-Cup Distinction grade this semester only manage to see the C-Cup Credit grade this semester. I'm not surprised with the effort I put in getting a Credit is considered God sent. What is the Lord trying to tell me?

I'm just ended my reservist with quite a enjoyable time knowing new friends and knowing new people. I wonder how come there are people in this world that do not know how to be politically correct. I mean some people here really behave super rude. How do I describe it to you. Imagine you are a guard, then a guy comes over you ask with a GL face WHICH UNIT? I mean common lar you on recall activation super pissed at the SAF for pressing the wrong button, making you rush back to your activation center and this guy stands there give you a GL face ask you WHICH UNIT? I mean be a little more polite perhaps the guy who is pissed will feel better.

I'm at work on PHP, who knows how sessions work. Been going through the net for information on this topic but I do not seem to be able to get any concrete information on this function of PHP. Getting really pissed and confused here. The sinking feeling of work is once more overcoming me. I need to break free! I need to go get myself a 1A or is it A1 Crispy Curry Puff in the pantry! I need ... to know how to code... ARGH!

Come to think about it life is not that bad. Singaporeans just woke up to a shock of their lives when the CEO Durai dropped all charges to SPH. The guy earns $600,000 a year. This is what I make in my life time or even worse maybe not even there. He should be ashamed of himself. Imagine $600,000 1/2 of which is bonus. If I'm really a charitable organization this money should go to the people that need help with dialysis and not into their pockets. Fly 1st class? Why spend the extra when you can fly on business comfortably? Imagine how many Singapoeans spent time effort working and all the money they spend to call the 1900 numbers to contribute so that other fellow suffereing Singapoeans can have help? So what happens? Why do they need to reach millions of phones calls on every PSC night? Go figure.

posted by SerSiTiv emoTiOns @ 7/13/2005 01:16:00 AM